Hurting Hearts and Struggling Souls - Part 4

When the hurting and struggling becomes intense, and someone desires his heart and soul to change, he must first realize that he is dependent on God to help him. The realization of dependence logically leads to prayer, and it should not be surprising that God often gives emotional help in response to the prayers of His children. David says that is precisely what happened to him. "You have given him his heart's desire, and You have not withheld the request of his lips" (Psalm 21:2). David asked for something regarding his heart, and God answered.

On another occasion, David struggled in his soul. When he started out, he was not bold or strong internally, but he became bold. The change was not his work, but God's, and in answer to David's prayer for help. "On the day I called, You answered me; You made me bold with strength in my soul" (Psalm 138:3).

In Psalm 86, David was "afflicted and needy" (86:1). He prayed for God to deliver him, and his prayers were frequent. "To You I cry all day long" (86:3). He made fourteen requests in seventeen verses. Those requests were varied, but one of them was regarding the emotional state of his soul: "Make glad the soul of Your servant" (86:4).  He followed up his request with this argument: "For to You, O LORD, I lift up my soul" (86:4). He depended on God, openly dedicated himself to God, and prayed with that foundation.

In Psalm 62, David uses an interesting term for prayer. "Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge" (62:8). This is more involved than merely mentioning a request. The picture literally is to empty a liquid from a pitcher or cauldron, spilling all the contents onto the ground. When used of solids, the idea is to create a mound as the substance is poured from its container. The term can refer to completely using up money or another resource until it is exhausted. This action is intense, thorough, and exhaustive. Not many people want that level of accounting of someone else's troubles, especially regarding the heart. Such "dumping" is considered TMI - too much information. The overload is more than people can comfortably manage and process. God is not limited in His desire to hear every detail or in His ability to absorb and process it all. God cares enough to continue listening until His children have finished sharing.

Another level of prayer is appropriate, especially when the heart concern is spiritual in nature. David prayed, "Test my mind and my heart" (Psalm 26:2). Deeper than a routine request, David deliberately invited God to evaluate his inner-most being. He wanted God to refine and prove it to be true. He asked God to purify him and purge out anything that would keep his heart and mind from being what they should be.

Similarly, in Psalm 139, David prayed, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way" (139:23-24). David was both concerned and uncertain about his heart; the heart is indeed hard to know. Not fully understanding his own heart, David asked God to search it for him. He was particularly concerned about "anxious thoughts" and "any hurtful way." He acknowledges that the anxious (disquieting) thoughts did exist; he was unsure whether those anxious thoughts would lead him in a wrong or painful way. If such danger existed, he wanted God to redirect him into the right way. Unsettled hearts do have the potential to lead one in the wrong way, often swinging out of control very quickly. When David recognized the potential danger, he wisely asked God to examine him, identify any actual concerns, and direct him accordingly.

There is reassurance in the realization that God "knows the secrets of the heart" (Psalm 44:21). God actually knows the truth about what is in the heart, and the assumption is that He will respond accordingly. If the heart were wrong, such knowledge could bring fear, but in this case, the heart was right, so God's knowledge brought comfort. The speakers recognized ways that hearts could be wrong, but affirmed that such guilt did not apply to them. They had not turned back from God in adversity. In their difficult place, they did not see the answer yet, but they expected God to do what was right because He knew their heart. Their faithful commitment to God meant something. They were comforted in remembering that an all-knowing God would ultimately give the right answer. The bond with God freed them from worry about the circumstances and concern over the evaluation of others.

A final aspect of prayer that is often needed during heart struggles is confession.  David prayed, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation" (Psalm 51:10&12). The struggles of David's heart were a direct result of sin. David was not right in his heart and spirit, and he knew the reason why. He desired a clean heart, a steadfast spirit, and joy - none of which he had at the moment. He wanted a heart that was cleansed and pure, rather than polluted and defiled. He wanted a spirit that was firm, established, and secure; at the moment it was fragile, struggling, and vulnerable. He wanted gladness, exultation, and rejoicing in place of the sober sadness that fettered him. David did the right thing to achieve those results by humbly acknowledging his sin, asking for God's gracious cleansing, forgiveness, and restoration. For David, the only path to a restored relationship and renewed spirit was humble, dependent, and open confession of sin.

Change in the heart, always dependent on God, often comes as a result of prayer, necessitating action from the person seeking help. He must pray.

Hurting Hearts and Struggling Souls - Part 3

Emotions are a normal part of the way God made man; based on biblical examples, even strong emotions are not unexpected abnormalities. Some emotional responses are negative or unpleasant. By providing support and comfort, God can help His children during times when those undesired emotions are legitimately prompted. With His transforming power, He can change His children when the emotions are not spiritually appropriate. These truths are encouraging, but they may leave someone with an important and glaring question: How?

How does God change undesirable, immature, or ungodly expressions of emotion? Does someone just hope that someday it might happen? Is it a supernatural act that God will do if and when He decides the time is right? Is change guaranteed at some point? Does the individual believer bear some responsibility? Can a person do anything to change his emotional responses? The passages from Psalms that were shared in the previous posts provide answers; they share truth about how emotions can be mastered, controlled, and changed.

Several of the psalms that speak about changes and improvement regarding emotions attribute the change to the work of God. Whether recounting what has already happened or what is expected to happen, credit is given to God. For example, "You have put," "You will strengthen," "You have given," "You will make him," "He restores," "Your rod and staff," "You have turned," "You have known," "The LORD ... saves," "He will give," "His song," "He knows," "He will sustain," "He has done," "God makes," "Your consolations," "He has satisfied," "He has filled," "You have rescued," "You will enlarge," "Your word has revived," "You made me," and "He heals."

This does not mean that man has no part in adjusting his emotions, but it does mean that such change is never an independent effort. Man may work for improvement, which is possible through the enabling grace of God, but man must depend on God and draw from His strength. Any change is ultimately God's work.

God can increase the capacity of one's heart. It is not uncommon to speak of someone's having a small or shriveled heart, possessing little capacity to love or feel or be devoted. This heart is narrow, self-centered, and limited. It may be restricted in its ability to feel positive emotions, to express them, or to show them deeply. "You will enlarge my heart" (Psalm 119:32). God can broaden or widen the confines of the heart, making it like a bountiful, roomy pasture. In this particular verse, the heart is limited in its capacity to be devoted to God's commandments, but God changes that. He makes the heart larger so it has greater capacity to follow His way. Now the man can run in God's way, not limited and not fettered. Surely God who can expand the heart to follow Him more passionately can also broaden the heart to express other emotions that are pleasing to Him.

A few verses later, the same psalmist prays, "Incline my heart to Your testimonies" (Psalm 119:36). The heart naturally wants certain things and resists others. In this verse, the psalmist is concerned that his heart naturally wants to pursue dishonest gain, profiting at the expense of others. He doesn't want his heart to go in that direction, but he needs God's help to change. The psalmist asks God to incline his heart to His testimonies. He wants God to bend or turn his heart in a godly direction. This is an example of how man, even when he wants to do the right thing, is powerless to make himself do it. In fact, he may not even want to do right. When it comes to the heart, man is dependent on God to change his direction and help him do and be what does not come naturally.

In Psalm 55, David reveals the same truth. He speaks of pressure, trouble, anguish, terror, trembling, and horror. He longed to escape from the oppression that gripped his heart, from the hurt of betrayal, and from the disappointment of abandonment by others. In the end, David couldn't physically escape, so he turned to the only source that could help him. "Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken" (55:22). He called out repeatedly to God, knowing that God would save him. "Evening and morning and at noon, I will complain and murmur, and He will hear my voice" (55:17). The burden was too great for David himself. At best, David's friends were unable or unconcerned to help; many of them were actually contributing to the problem. David turned to the only effective source; he looked to God, knowing that God could help his hurting heart and uphold him in his struggle.

In Psalm 73, Asaph was painfully aware of his own frailty. He came very close to slipping and to counting his following of God as a waste. He was tempted to spout out words that would have been highly inappropriate, and he acted like a beast before God. He experienced bitterness and inner pain. Through his experience Asaph learned that he did not have strength in himself; his heart was weak and prone to failure. When he was struggling and in need of help, Asaph had to turn to God. "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (73:26). God was the strength of his heart. When Asaph realized how much he needed God to help his naturally weak heart, it is no wonder that he cried out, "Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth" (73:25). Asaph could not pull himself up. He couldn't be tough and push through. He couldn't be stronger than his circumstances. On his own, he was capable only of failure, but God strengthened him. Like these men, believers today must depend utterly on God.

Hurting Hearts and Struggling Souls - Part 2

God created man as a deep and complex person; emotions are part of man's makeup. The previous post looked at what the Psalms reveal about the depths of man: his heart, his soul, and his spirit. The psalmists describe many emotions, including sorrow, loneliness, emptiness, depression, anxiety, and guilt.

While some emotions are desirable, those listed above are not; they may, however, be appropriate at times. For example, there is nothing wrong with sorrow at the death of a loved one. Negatively-evaluated emotions like those above certainly can be wrong and definitely are wrong in many cases, but they are challenging even when they are appropriately experienced.

While all other verses included here are from Psalms, Jeremiah includes an interesting passage about the heart. "The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it? I, the LORD, search the heart" (Jeremiah 17:9-10). The heart of man is difficult to understand and evaluate; ultimately, God is the only one who can do so with accuracy.

Not only does God fully understand the human heart, He alone is able to change it. The Psalms reveal many descriptions of man's emotions; they also contain many statements about God's power to influence the emotions. God can change the heart, the soul, and the spirit. When emotions are wrong, God can help His children change them. When the emotions are merely uncomfortable or unwelcome, He can sustain and encourage His children through them. The deepest and most mysterious aspect of man is under God's power.

General troubles. Knows, upholds, refreshes, repairs.

"You have known the troubles of my soul" (31:7).
"Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken" (55:22).
"The law of the LORD is perfect, restoring the soul" (19:7).
"He restores my soul" (23:3).

Tears. Stops them, transforms them.

"You have rescued ... my eyes from tears" (116:8).
"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing" (30:11).
"His song will be with me in the night" (42:8).

Grief and sorrow. Abides, comforts, consoles, heals.

"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (34:18).
"Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me" (23:4).
"This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your word has revived me" (119:50).
"Your consolations delight my soul" (94:19).
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" (147:3).

Loneliness and abandonment. Knows and meets the deepest longings, faithfully intervenes.

"He knows the secrets of the heart" (44:21).
"God makes a home for the lonely" (68:6).
"My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him" (62:5).
"I will tell of what He has done for my soul" (66:16).

Emptiness. Grows the heart, gives purpose, enriches, satisfies.

"You will enlarge my heart" (119:32).
"That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent" (30:12).
"You have given him his heart's desire" (21:2).
"He will give you the desires of your heart" (37:4).
"My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness" (63:5).
"We will be satisfied with the goodness of Your house" (65:4).
"He has satisfied the thirsty soul, and the hungry soul He has filled with what is good" (107:9).

Feeling overwhelmed. Listens, protects, strengthens, stabilizes, supports.
"Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge" (62:8).
"My soul takes refuge in You" (57:1).
"He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken" (62:2).
"You will strengthen their heart" (10:17).
"God is the strength of my heart" (73:26).
"His heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD" (112:7).
"His heart is upheld" (112:8).

Depression and despair. Lifts and revives, gives gladness and joy, singing and laughing.

"You who seek God, let your heart revive" (69:32).
"You have put gladness in my heart" (4:7).
"Therefore [because God is at my right hand] my heart is glad" (16:9).
"The righteous man will be glad in the LORD" (64:10).
"Make glad the soul of Your servant" (86:4).
"You will make him joyful with gladness in Your presence" (21:6).
"In Your presence is fullness of joy" (16:11).
"The precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart" (19:8).
"My soul shall rejoice in the LORD" (35:9).
"My soul [will shout for joy when I sing praises to You]" (71:23).
"That we may sing for joy and be glad all our days" (90:14).
"Then our mouth was filled with laughter and our tongue with joyful shouting" (126:2).

Fear and anxiety. Removes fear, makes calm, gives courage, makes bold.

"My heart will not fear" (27:3).
"I have composed and quieted my soul" (131:2).
"My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart exults" (28:7).
"Let your heart take courage" (27:14 and 31:24).
"You made me bold with strength in my soul" (138:3).

Guilt. Renews, cleanses, restores.

"Renew a steadfast spirit in me" (51:10).
"Create in me a clean heart, O God" (51:10).
"Restore to me the joy of Your salvation" (51:12).

Spiritual desire. Evaluates, reveals, draws.

"Test my mind and my heart" (26:2).
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts" (139:23).
"Incline my heart to Your testimonies" (119:36).

The heart and soul, the deepest part of man, present immense challenges. Man easily seems overwhelmed, unable to cope and challenged to change. Where the deepest challenges exist, God is not limited. He can respond with the deepest and most amazing level of help. No situation is hopeless. Man's thorniest problems are a showcase for God's unmatched skill.

This is not to say that God will always change every situation in the timing and in the manner that man desires. Sometimes it is God's plan for challenges, sorrows, and testing to continue. He is always able to help His children in the midst of those troubles and challenges. If God doesn't change something, it is never because He can't. (Future posts will present practical application.)

Hurting Hearts and Struggling Souls - Part 1

Reading through Psalms recently, I noticed frequent references to emotions. God doesn't ignore the profundity of the inner man; in fact, the heart, soul, and spirit are regularly discussed and openly revealed. God created man as a complex creature. Truly, "the inward thought and the heart of a man are deep" (Psalm 63:6).

Some Christians are uncomfortable revealing or discussing emotions, perhaps considering them to be indications of weakness or shallow spirituality. The Bible recognizes the legitimacy of emotions, thoroughly examining these God-given, natural expressions. Clearly, emotions can be good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant. The Bible guides in evaluating emotions, encourages in enduring the unpleasant, and aids in developing the pleasant.   

This study focuses primarily on the words heart, soul, and spirit. While not synonymous, the terms similarly refer to the inner man, the center of man, or the deepest part of man. In some contexts these terms have other meanings; I tried to choose only verses that seem likely to refer to the emotions. The Bible's descriptions of emotion are poignant and descriptive.

General troubles. Undefined struggles, beyond description, often numerous.

"The troubles of my heart are enlarged" (25:17).
"The troubles of my soul" (31:7).
"I pour out my soul within me" (42:4).
"Burden" (55:22).
"I was in distress [narrow place]" (66:14).
"I am so troubled that I cannot speak" (77:4).
"My soul has had enough of troubles" (88:3).

Tears. Unwanted, copious, unending, inconsolable.

"I am weary with sighing; every night I make my bed swim, I dissolve my couch with my tears" (6:6).
"My tears" (56:8).
"I am weary with my crying" (69:3).
"The bread of tears ... drink tears in large measure" (80:5).
"I have eaten ashes like bread and mingled my drink with weeping" (102:9).

Grief and sorrow. Affecting the body, constant, deeply painful, eliciting audible groans, seeming beyond healing.

"My eye has wasted away with grief" (6:7).
"Having sorrow in my heart all the day" (13:2).
"The words of my groaning" (22:1).
"My eye is wasted away from grief, my soul and my body also" (31:9).
"For my life is spent with sorrow and my years with sighing" (31:10).
"Brokenhearted ... Crushed in spirit" (34:18).
"I wept in my soul" (69:10). [What an expression!]
"My heart was embittered and I was pierced within" (73:21).
"My soul refused to be comforted" (77:2).
"Groaning" (79:11).
"Make glad the soul of Your servant" (86:4). [He isn't glad now.]
"My heart is wounded within me" (109:22).
"I found distress and sorrow" (116:3).
"My soul cleaves to the dust" (119:25).
"My soul weeps because of grief" (119:28).
"Brokenhearted" (147:3).

Loneliness and abandonment. Relating to God or man, possibly accentuated by neglect or attacks.

"How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me?" (13:1).
"I am lonely and afflicted" (25:16).
"Reproach [scorn, taunting] has broken my heart and I am so sick. And I looked for sympathy, but there was none, and for comforters, but I found none" (69:20).

Emptiness. Lost, no satisfaction, no meaning, beaten down to nothing.
"Thirsty soul ... hungry soul" (107:9).
"My heart has been smitten [blighted] like grass and has withered away [dried up], indeed, I forget to eat my bread" (102:4).

Feeling overwhelmed. Possible physical effect, no strength to continue, too much to absorb.

"I am pining away [weak, feeble]" (6:2).
"My heart throbs [palpitates]" (38:10).
"My heart has failed [abandoned] me" (40:12).
"My heart is in anguish within me" (55:4).
"My heart is faint" (61:2).
"Pour out your heart before Him" (62:8). [There's enough in it to overflow.]
"My heart may fail" (73:26).
"When I sigh, then my spirit grows faint" (77:3).
"My eye has wasted away because of affliction" (88:9).
"Their soul fainted within them" (107:5).
"My spirit was overwhelmed within me" (142:3).
"Therefore my spirit is overwhelmed within me; my heart is appalled within me" (143:4).
"My spirit fails" (143:7).

Depression and despair. Dark, dangerous, debilitating.

"I would have despaired" (27:13). [Barely escaped in this case.]
"I am benumbed and badly crushed; I groan because of the agitation of my heart" (38:8).
"Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me?" (42:5; also 42:11; slight variation 43:5).
"My soul is in despair within me" (42:6).
"For our soul has sunk down into the dust" (44:25).
"Their soul melted away in their misery" (107:26).
"Despondent in heart" (109:16).

Fear and anxiety. Unreasonable, paralyzing, out of control.
"My soul is greatly dismayed [alarmed, anxious]" (6:3).
"My heart is like wax; it is melted within me" (22:14).
"Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror has overwhelmed me" (55:5).
"When my anxious thoughts multiply within me" (94:19).

Guilt. Profitable when legitimate.

"Renew a steadfast spirit in me" (51:10). [He does not have the spirit he wants.]
"Create in me a clean heart, O God" (51:10). [He does not have the heart he wants.]

Spiritual desire. Obvious positive emotion.

"My soul pants for You, O God" (42:1).
"My soul thirsts for God" (42:2).
"My soul thirsts for You" (63:1).
"My soul clings to You" (63:8).
"My soul longed and even yearned for the courts of the LORD" (84:2).
"My soul is crushed with longing after Your ordinances at all times" (119:20).
"Incline my heart to Your testimonies" (119:36). [It isn't inclined at the moment.]
"My soul languishes for Your salvation" (119:81).
"My soul longs for You, as a parched land" (143:6).

The study thus far may seem rather academic; even so, it demonstrates that no one who faces emotion, even extreme emotion, is alone or abnormal. Emotion, in its purest state, is a God-designed, normal human response. God has included examples and descriptions of emotion in the Bible, thereby revealing that it is a legitimate field of examination; emotion is something that God knows about and cares about. Future posts will deal with what God can do in hurting hearts and struggling souls. God has amazing ability to reverse negative emotions and incite positive ones.