Where Is the Top?

I with Thee would begin, O my Savior so dear,
On the way that I still must pursue;
I with Thee would begin every day granted here,
As my earnest resolve I renew
To be and remain Thine forever.

This is a lesser-known hymn by Karolina Sandell-Berg, the writer of "Day by Day" and "Children of the Heavenly Father." It is a good prayer for the beginning of a new year or a new day. I suppose it is somewhat natural at this time of year to reflect on and evaluate both the past and the future.

At the beginning of this new year, one of the things that most stands out to me is how much I have to learn. God has taught me many wonderful truths over the years. He has given me amazing growth in many areas. In light of what God has already done in my life, it sobers me to realize how much He still needs to do. In so many areas, I feel like I am closer to the beginning of learning than the end.

I need to learn much more about how to interact with God through His Word and through prayer. I need to learn more about God Himself. I need to learn more about loving and serving others. I need to learn more about resting in God's plan for my life and about being faithful where He has put me. I need to learn that there are some things I don't need to know but just need to trust God for. I need to learn more about having a testimony that can impact both the saved and the lost.

Part of me wonders how this can be true. How can I still need to learn so much and grow so much after all that God has already done for me? Shouldn't I be a mature Christian by now? Shouldn't at least the major areas be under control and my struggles now be just in minor things?

I am reminded of when I lived in New Hampshire. Our school (and sometimes I personally) would climb Mt. Monadnock. It took some amount of meandering through woods and ascending rocky slopes before it was possible to see the top of the mountain - or, I should say, what one thought was the top of the mountain. Upon advancing further, one learned that what had looked like the top was, in fact, not the top at all. This deceitful illusion was repeated several times before the actual apex of the mountain could be viewed and scaled.

So it is in the Christian life. Often one perceives he is learning and growing so much that he must be near the top. Then comes the realization that he is not as close as he thought he was. As a believer matures through his earthly journey, there are some truths that he must gradually learn to deeper and deeper levels. It is much like the school experience in which students begin learning about grammar in lower elementary school, but keep learning it all the way through graduation, each year going a little bit deeper and gaining fuller understanding.

In addition to this gradual or progressive understanding, there are also times that a believer forgets a lesson he has learned in the past and must re-learn it. This may be the case particularly when many years go by without that area of life having been tested. A believer rarely learns a lesson completely without ever needing to review it.

Finally, even lessons that have been well-learned must be maintained or reinforced. For any skill to remain sharp, it must be practiced periodically. How many times have I started to summarize a book I had read or a movie I had watched, only to find that my recollection was not as vivid and accurate as I had expected? The longer it had been since I had read or watched the story, the more I struggled with accuracy. Reading or watching again would correct my inaccuracies and enhance my mastery. The Christian life is somewhat like that. Regular review and practice are needed to maintain the lesson. In the process, small adjustments can be made as needed and understanding becomes more accurate.

Perhaps this final area is the one in which believers experience the most frustration, as they continue to struggle in areas they thought they had mastered. Instead of condemning themselves for their weakness or failure (I John 1:9), they simply need a refreshing of the lesson and a continued march forward.

As I move into this new year, realizing how much I still have to learn, that is what I desire - a freshening and renewal of the lessons I have learned well in the past. I also want a reinforcement and deepening of lessons I have learned only partially. I realize that I may also need an introduction to lessons that I have not yet begun to learn. Only with God's help in all of these areas can I continue moving upward in this life-long journey that is the Christian walk.

"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14 (NASB)