Trite Biblical Answers

A friend's family has been going through some deep trials recently - new trials added onto years of difficult challenges. Understandably, my friend has been troubled, and she expressed both her frustration and her desire for encouragement. In her plea for help, she specifically stated that she needed more than "trite Biblical answers."

I don't consider her to be weak or unspiritual for making such a statement. In fact, I think I understand her. I believe all Christians who have gone through especially deep trials have had similar thoughts. Her words made me wonder, though, why it is that even good Biblical answers from friends do not always seem helpful in particularly trying times.

Dictionary.com defines trite as "lacking in freshness or effectiveness because of constant use or excessive repetition; hackneyed; stale." Something trite is so over-used and oft-repeated that it is no longer special and therefore fails in its intended purpose. The statement has potential to be powerful, but because it is so over-used, the intended meaning is barely noticed.

In the Christian experience, the verse most commonly accused of being trite is Romans 8:28. "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." It's a good verse. In fact, it's a wonderful verse, and it ought to bring comfort. Why, then, do Christians often dismiss it as trite? Why do they not want Romans 8:28 to be the answer that their friends share with them?

I am reminded of Job and his friends. Job's friends meant well and even said a lot of true things, though not always applicable to Job. Job responded to their oft-repeated and ineffective words by saying, "You are all worthless physicians," and "Sorry comforters are you all." That is what it sometimes feels like when a Christian receives the "encouragement" of his friends.

I would suggest that in most cases the words offered by Christian friends are good words. Often they are even the right words for the moment. These answers should not be trite. So why are they? I can think of several answers.

First, an answer can be trite when it is given in a shallow manner. The comforter might just spout off the first thing that pops into his head, without taking the time to think. He automatically knows the right thing to say in the situation, and he just says it. It might even be a correct response, but there is something offensive about the glib or thoughtless manner in which it is given. It fails in its compassion.

Second, an answer can be trite when it comes from a shallow heart. The answer may come from a person who has had a seemingly easy life, has never gone through a similar situation, and has no real understanding of the depth of the struggle. It's easy for him to give an answer, but he doesn't know what it's like to have to live out that answer. His words are ineffective because he has not entered the world of pain as deeply or in the same manner as the friend he is trying to console. The answer fails in credibility.

Third, an answer can be trite when it is underdeveloped. The person seeking help might be looking for a short answer, or the person sharing might have a limited window of opportunity. The briefness of the moment may not allow the truth to be fully explained, and the reality is that a short and simple answer does not always suffice. These types of trials are so deep and complex that they require fuller explanation based on a broader basis than a single verse. There is no simple answer, and the attempt to provide one leaves dissatisfaction. An answer that is too shallow for what is needed fails in substance.

Finally, an answer can be trite when it is vicarious instead of personal. It is possible for a friend to give a thoughtful and thorough answer that comes from compassionate understanding, and still the answer can seem trite. It is truth that someone else has learned, probably through great challenge, but the process of learning is what makes the truth meaningful. The truth, however appropriate, will not hold great depth of meaning for the sufferer until he learns it experientially for himself. While the meaning is deep for the one sharing it, it is not yet deep for the one hearing it. This answer fails in assimilation.

Practically, as someone attempting to give help, it is important to seek the most appropriate Biblical truth and give a thoughtful answer. It is also important to speak from a heart of compassion, attempting to understand the burden of the friend, and it is important to share enough of an answer to be meaningful.

As the person receiving help, it is important to realize that there is no substitute for learning the truth on one's own. Truths that sound trite when coming from a friend will hold deep meaning when the sufferer learns them for himself. The sufferer must carefully and prayerfully consider the truth shared. If the truth seems trite because it is the verse that is oft-repeated, there is a reason that it is shared so frequently. The very prevalence of the truth is proof that it has effectively ministered to many in the past, and it is the truth needed now. God must work it into the heart of the one who is currently carrying the burden.

Job's friends did not help him. Only when God spoke to Job and taught him directly did Job find the answers he needed. Sometimes learning takes time. The sufferer must settle his soul, waiting on God to work His truth into the heart. The answer may not be immediate, but when God does the speaking, He can give an answer that is vibrant, meaningful, and effective.

"This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your word has revived me." Psalm 119:50 (NASB)