What is Wrong?

How many times do we read a blog like this one about spiritual growth and find ourselves somewhat helplessly believing the concepts to be beyond us? We may admire the spiritual aspirations, long for the heart inclinations, give full approval to the concepts, and appreciate the practical ideas - but think to ourselves, "I could never be like that. I will never achieve such godly and victorious living."

I can sympathize with that discouraged thinking; in fact, I totally agree. There are (too many) times that I seem entirely incapable of following through on what I want to do. I read what I have written and wish that it could be true of me. My posts sometimes come from what I have struggled to learn in the past, but often they come from what I am struggling to learn in the present. Sometimes in that struggle, I seem to be only at the beginning of the learning process, and I share a truth that I've learned to be the answer, but have yet to master. More than once I have considered whether I should stop writing the blog until I can get my own heart and life in order.

Maybe it's not a blog that we relate to in this way, but a testimony shared by a fellow believer, a sermon preached at church, a truth taught by a book, or simply Christ-likeness demonstrated by a friend. Whatever the source, the sentiment is the same. We find ourselves confronted with the fact that we are neither where we should be nor where we want to be in our Christian walk. We find that our passion for God, which in the past was warm and glowing, has grown cold. Instead of thinking godly and spiritual thoughts, our minds are constantly fighting ungodly and even perverse thoughts. We know that the Word of God should encourage us, but its message falls dully on our hearts. It is a struggle to read the Bible that we know we ought to love. Meaningful prayer time has become alien. As we consider these deviations from what should be true, our hearts plunge into discouragement at our inability to be "good" Christians.

If we think of the constant upward climb of the Christian life as taking place on a mountain, there are times that the trail goes into thick underbrush. Even the weeds and wildflowers grow up so thickly that we have to push through them. We maneuver through the briars, trying not to get scratched too much, and squeeze through tiny passages between branches. Other times the path resembles a forest after a brutal storm; branches or even entire trees have fallen to block the pathway and there appears to be no way through. Maybe we reach a swampy area; perhaps we are determined to wade through, even accepting that we will be wet and uncomfortable. Unfortunately, the mud is so thick that we keep sinking in, our shoes are sucked from our feet, and we become mired down. We may come against a stony bank or rocky incline where progress is painstakingly slow; we have to be very careful with our footing to avoid a precipitous slide or a dangerous fall. And what if, instead of a rocky incline with some footholds, we face a sheer rock wall that stretches up and up - or our path ends at the edge of a cliff that plunges down at our feet?

With these illustrations, I am not referring to the trials and circumstances of life that present challenges and difficulties. Instead, I am referring to the spiritual battle - to that internal struggle of the heart that may or may not be prompted by a trial or life situation. Any of us who thinks he is alone in this battle is crazy. Those thoughts and feelings, however, can produce guilt, frustration, and discouragement that hinder our progress and cause us not to enjoy our relationship with God.

I'm not sure that the scenarios above each relate to distinct situations in the Christian life, but there are a number of possibilities for spiritual coldness (or the perception thereof). My next post will look at a number of possible reasons that are largely outside of our control, but I think the first place we need to look is at what is within our control. We must consider the possibility that sin or failure on our part is hindering our spiritual growth. If we are honest enough to examine ourselves openly, we will often find that sin is at least part of the problem. In David's prayers of repentance, he describes his sins as "a heavy burden [that] weigh too much" for him (Psalm 38:4). He goes "mourning all day long" (v. 6), and "groan[s] because of the agitation of [his] heart" (v. 8). In Psalm 51:12, he asks God to "restore to [him] the joy of [His] salvation." Unconfessed sin creates a great burden and weight upon our relationship with God.

Humble confession, on the other hand, has a wonderful restorative ability, bringing grace, peace, and renewal to our hearts. "God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Submit therefore to God. . . . Draw near to God. . . . Cleanse your hands . . . and purify your hearts" (James 4:6-8). If our sin and our own wrong choices have put a barrier between us and God, we must submit humbly to God, confessing those things and receiving His grace. We must examine whether we are stubbornly clinging to some sin, obstinately maintaining control over some area of our life, failing to forgive a brother, or neglecting to obey some instruction that God has given.

In addition to outright sin, we must also look at carelessness that could be hindering our relationship. Maybe we are involved in so many other things that our time for God is limited and our passion for Him grows cold. Perhaps we love and depend on other people so much that we take our relationship with God for granted. Possibly we are failing to spend time with Him as we should - in His Word, in church, in prayer - so that there is no fuel for the fire, and our heart easily grows cold. All of these things stem from human failure, and because of the weakness of our flesh, all are quite possible.

The good news is that as long as we keep pursuing God and at least have that as our intention and desire, we can keep making progress. The best news is that God keeps doing His work, often whether we want Him to or not. God started a work in us when He saved us, and He fully desires and intends for us to move toward greater and greater sanctification until the day that we stand before Him permanently and completely transformed. We may be weak and limited, but God is not, and He can continue working in our lives.

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6 (NASB)