Friendship: Part 2

The previous post was about becoming God's friend and about how God extended the most profound level of sacrificial love to the most unsavory and unlikely of recipients. This post examines how to maintain and improve a friendship with God. Since God created relationships and declares Himself the Friend of believers, it is not surprising to see similarities between human and divine friendship.  

First, the depth of both human and divine friendship can increase. Deepening friendship is achieved through faithfulness over the passage of time and by increased commitment to the relationship. God is always faithful and is already committed as deeply as possible to the friendship. The challenge then lies with the believer, who has a tendency to waver or to be complacent. "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" (James 4:8). A believer must commit to God long-term regardless of difficulties and obstacles and must determine that he wants to go deeper with God.

Second, both human and divine friendships flourish as the friends maintain similar interests. Friendships benefit when similar interests persist but suffer when those shared interests diminish. A believer who wants his friendship with God to thrive must be interested in what is important to God: the gospel, the church, families, and righteousness. The deeper the common interest, the deeper the friendship can go. If, however, a Christian devalues the gospel, minimizes church, weakens his family, and ignores righteousness,  while pursuing interests that God does not share, friendship with God will suffer immeasurably. "Do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God" (James 4:4).

Third, neither human nor divine friendships can prosper without frequent, honest, and clear communication. A believer must communicate with God often by hearing from Him through the Bible, both personally and corporately; one conversation per week is hardly enough for a deep friendship. Additionally, great damage is done by substituting popular thought, personal opinion, general impressions, and careless instruction for careful, accurate, and methodical study of the Bible. "Your testimonies also are my delight; they are my counselors" (Psalm 119:24). While God knows man's heart, speaking to God in prayer is also important and beneficial. Prayer helps a believer to identify what is in his heart, to focus on his relationship with God, and to express his deepest thoughts to God. "Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us" (Psalm 62:8).

Fourth, human and divine friendships prosper when people spend time together. Even though no detrimental effect is planned or desired, friendships suffer when the amount of time together decreases. The causes of the decrease can be innocent and practical; nevertheless, the friendship is no longer the same. A Christian cannot be careless about his time with God. Instead, he must purpose to protect that relationship by diligently guarding against anything that would hinder his church attendance, Bible reading, and other time with God. "If we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another" (I John 1:7).

Fifth, neither human nor divine friendships continue effectively when faced with long absences. When friends move far away, whether for a year or permanently, the friendship changes dramatically. The friends reassure themselves, "We'll always be friends"; this may be true to some extent, but inevitably something of the closeness is lost. Similarly, God will always be the Friend and Savior of His children. When a believer ignores Him for weeks at a time or walks away for months or years, however, he loses something valuable, and there is an unmistakable impact on the friendship. It is possible to return and rebuild that friendship, but there is definitely a price to be paid for extended absences. "A voice is heard on the bare heights, the weeping and the supplications of the sons of Israel; because they have perverted their way, they have forgotten the LORD their God" (Jeremiah 3:21). "Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the LORD, and He will have compassion on him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon" (Isaiah 55:7).

Sixth, strong human and divine friendships are built on trust, forbearance, and forgiveness. One must overlook shortcomings, give the benefit of the doubt, restore fellowship, and believe in people's stated intentions even in the midst of failure. Refusal to make these concessions erects damaging barriers. God is not the one who struggles here. As He looks toward men, He is long-suffering and always ready to forgive. God understands human weakness and failure. He rejoices to grant forgiveness and to restore fellowship. As a believer looks toward God, he must remember that God never fails. There is nothing to forgive God for and no reason not to trust Him, but unfortunately a Christian sometimes makes it seem that way. He gets bitter at God, accuses Him of making wrong decisions, and argues that He has failed. A believer is wrong to think or act in these ways; not only is there no valid basis for these reactions, but they also drive damaging wedges into the relationship. "You are good and do good; teach me Your statutes" (Psalm 119:68). "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Relationships require the investment of time and work. God offers all the time in the world, and since He is both powerful and perfect, the relationship is no work for Him. A believer must commit his time and effort to growing his relationship with God. He must earnestly seek to eliminate obstacles that would cause damage, while pursuing efforts that promote a deepening friendship with the best Friend possible. The reward for such effort will be dramatic.