Fear of Inconsistency

In recent entries I have focused on the topic of impacting others for good. We do this by showing them an example of a vibrant Christian, one who has a close relationship with God due to pursuing things that promote a special relationship and avoiding things that hinder it. We have looked at ways both to build the relationship with God and to let it shine through to others. In the final segment of this mini-series, I would like to examine what I believe to be the primary reason we don't share our spiritual walk with others.

I believe we are most reluctant to let others see our personal walk with God due to fear of inconsistency. Maybe I'm wrong, but I believe that most of us have urgings and desires from time to time to want to minister to others. We consider what it would be like to teach a Sunday school class. We think about volunteering to help with discipleship. We wish we were bold enough to pray with someone who is hurting. We want to share a testimony about God's goodness to us. We aspire to be able to pray in public.

We hold back, however, in following through with our desires and intentions because of fear. Some of those things require long-term commitment. We think they can be done only by spiritually strong Christians. With other opportunities, there seems to be the unspoken expectation that if we do them once, we will be expected to do them regularly and consistently. We fear that we won't be able to follow through.

For example, if we share a testimony about how God has provided for us in a special way, teaching us to trust Him to meet our every need, that seems to set the standard that we must never struggle in that area again. How do we know what God will do for us in the future? How do we know that we will remember the lesson and respond appropriately? Are we setting ourselves up to never be able to share struggles again without being seen as an inconsistent failure?

What about sharing regarding our personal time with God? There are days or seasons of life in which our devotional time with God is very precious. We are so blessed and excited about the special things God is doing that we want to share them with others. But, wait. If we tell others how wonderful that time with God is, and then the next few weeks (or months) are dull in comparison, how do we handle that? Will people not have the expectation that we will be constantly overflowing with the sweetness of our communion with God?

How can we stand up front and teach Sunday school when there are weeks that it is a challenge just to get there? How can we disciple someone else when we know there are days that we still struggle ourselves? How can we share a testimony of God's blessing when we are aware of how often we are driven to complain? We know we will fail in the future, so we are hesitant to "stick our necks out" by committing to any spiritual leadership.

Aside from the inconsistency of our spiritual man, there is the inconsistency of our physical body. It's hard to show the joy of the Lord through our actions and demeanor when we are dealing with sickness, lack of sleep, and aggravating circumstances. We know we won't appear to be overflowing with God's goodness when we have a headache or nasty cold. We won't appear vibrant when the kids kept us up half the night or when we had to shovel snow for two hours before coming to church. Are we afraid of inconsistency and loss of our testimony based on things we cannot help?

What is the bottom line of all these doubts? Welcome to humanity. It is good for us to aspire and work toward a consistently vibrant walk with God. We should desire to never mess up, even when things are beyond our control. As long as we live in human bodies, however, that perfection will not happen. If we wait for perfection before we commit to serve, we will never serve. If we require absolute consistency before we are willing to share our personal Christianity with others, we will never do it.

As I mentioned previously in this mini-series, the key element is not necessarily the spiritual level that we have achieved, but the tenderness of our heart toward God. If we are seeking to grow closer to God, that overall intention and inclination is what best demonstrates the vibrancy of our relationship. Each one of us is a work in progress, and as we progress, we can and should help others to progress as well. Interestingly, we can encourage others even in the midst of inconsistency - if we consistently show that we are determined to move on from those failures and continue the pursuit of godliness. If we have a willing heart, God can use us where we are, and He will also continue His work in and through us. Ultimately, it is His work; we can never do it on our own.

"For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7:15, 19, 24, 25a (NASB)